The Modern Christmas

I think I have been called a “Scrooge," the “Grinch” or just cheap by about everyone I know.  It has been a running joke in the family that Pop Pop just does not like Christmas.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I love the concept, or let’s say I love the thought of Christmas.  I grew up hearing the story by Charles Dickens, The Christmas Carol.  It is still one of my favorite stories of all time; I still try to catch the original version on the TV each year about now.  The other Christmas poem that I remember well begins like this;

Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

This poem by Clement Clarke Moore published in 1844 has become a fixture and portrait of the perfect family Christmas.

I remember when growing up my parents tried to make sure each of us kids had several presents under the Christmas tree to make sure we were just like all the other kids.  One year my mother tried so hard!  One of my presents was a new belt to hold up my pants.  I must have needed the belt, but give me a break!  This is pressure that is not needed for a family trying to put healthy food and warm clothes on their family.  Do I sound bitter?  Sorry, I don’t mean to.  We were one of the happiest and well fed families that I knew.  My father worked each day at a job that paid well for a man that did not get his high school diploma until I was in seventh or eighth grade.  His factory job for the time fulfilled all our needs.  At Christmas he would take a part time job to make sure we had enough.   I remember him selling shoes for Carson Pier Scott in Peoria and my mother working for a dry cleaners to give us extras.  Were times different?  Maybe, I’m sure there are families today that do the same to make their families come up to the “norm”. 

Today the normal family is more like the TV show with Chevy Chase and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  Clark Griswold tries to make the perfect family holiday for all his family, including both sets of parents and the dim witted cousin Eddie with his dysfunctional family and dog.  The home and the tree is the ultimate of what can be attained by an over achieving Santa.  I have never tried to do this at my home and it would probably give Pat a heart attack should she come home and find I attempted to do so.  A few weeks back I was listening to Christmas music on my CD in my truck and had forgotten it was still playing when we got in to go somewhere.  It started playing and I believe if we would have been somewhere other than my garage, she would have thought it was someone else’s truck. 

This holiday is supposed to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the giving of him presents by the wise men and kings.  We have lost that concept today.  Some of us celebrate his birth, life, death and resurrection in our lives each day.

If you must invite your relatives and friends over and enjoy seeing all of the children playing and how they have grown, then do so.  A little note here, I was at Panera’s for lunch Sunday before my open house.  I was minding my own business and a couple about my age sat at the table beside me and started eating and going over their Christmas list.  Like many others, they were comparing what they had gotten and what they had left to get from their list.  When they finished that part of the conversation the next topic was what they planned on doing with those that were visiting from out of town.  Were they going to stay at their home or a hotel, maybe at another in-town relative’s home?  These were all valid questions that needed to be addressed.  What was troubling to me was a comment made and seconded by the spouse.  Whatever we do, I just don’t want to spend much time with “this couple”.  Wow, to dislike someone that much that they could not spend a couple days with them is sad.  I know of some relatives that haven’t spoken in years because of a small or big conflict.  What happened to the saying “what would Jesus do.”  Especially on his supposed day, I give you the American Baby Boomer Couple. 

If you still want a special day fine, I believe it is time for this holiday to change dramatically.  It has run its course like the Post Office and the local library.  Don’t get me started on those two agencies.  I will, at a later date write my feeling on them.     Decorate your homes and interior of the house to your heart’s content; put enough lights and decorations on there to be seen from the International Space Station.   Presents should be stopped at the age of 18 or maybe 16 when you get your driver’s license. Make this a holiday for only intimate family to celebrate.  Traveling this time of year in the North and Central part of the county is a hazard.   Thanksgiving is a more logical holiday to do family celebrations. Spend time with your children and teach them the true meaning of the holiday.  Keep gift giving to a minimum in the family.  This is the time of the year when you should give of yourself to others.  One of my presents to myself each year is to reevaluate if I am doing all I can for those I love and consider close. 

 Try to slow down a little.  The holiday should be more a look into yourself and a glow that generates from a love you should have for others.

WHO AM I

When we were walking down the road on a hot July day, the old Tennessee rocky road was dusty and narrow, with just enough room for two cars to pass safely.  A noisy truck stopped behind us, and a voice said “boys, where you headed?” 

Tommy said, “Back to my parents place by the feed store where we thought we would grab a soda and sit by the creek and watch some croquet.”  My dad and three others were playing and enjoying themselves on the manicured court.  That was the first time I remember anyone telling me that I was just like my dad.  At the time I was anything but pleased.

Seems like every other day Pat is telling me that I sound just like my dad.  The first article that I wrote was the icing on the cake for her.  You could see her thinking it before she said anything, yep, “that’s just like Archie.”  All I would say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just telling you what I think.”

A few weeks back we were back in Peoria seeing to Pat’s father. On Sunday we attended the church that my dad and mom attended.  One of my dad’s brothers still goes there with many of the friends to whom my parents had been close.  Most of them have watched me become the man of today.  My uncle grabbed me and said,     ”just like your dad.”

I must tell you at this point I am very confused.  I buried my father about 10 years ago now, and I don’t remember crying. Sure, I was sad and I missed being around him.  I miss his laugh and the energy I got from him being there.  Maybe it would be different if my dad and mom had died in an accident or at a young age from a disease.  No, they lived long lives and found love and happiness through their religion, marriage, children and friends. Sure they left me much earlier than I wanted but we have no control over any of that.  I still talk with him in my mind and believe he is there to advise me if I need his help.  I will catch myself when I think; I will call tonight and get his opinion on this or that.  No, you can’t do that, he’s gone. To this day I don’t think I have still come to accept the reality that he’s gone.  He has raised me to have his values and his attitude toward life.  Sure, I’m my own man but the stability of knowing who I am and being content in my own skin has come down through the generations beginning with my father.  I can only say thank you to him and hope that my son one day will say, thank you to me when I'm gone.  Then he will have the same type of contentment as I do now.

Quiet Time

Let me tell you a little story about a dilemma I faced the other day.  As we are all known to do daily or at least every other day, I was taking care of, shall we say personal business at the office where I work.  The complex where I have my office is in a large building where many companies share a bathroom facility.  I was sitting there minding my own business when another guy came in and sit down to take care of his business.  I must tell you at this point, I’m a private kind of guy; I was never in the military where the commodes are all in a row, with nothing separating each for individual comfort and privacy.  I accept the fact I’m not home, where not even Pat will walk in on me, this is my time.  (One of my favorite shows is How I Met Your Mother, Lilly will text her husband Marshall to cheer for him when he is in the bathroom.  In my mind, that is pushing the envelope.) I resign myself to the situation at hand and get down to my business so I can get out of there.  I don’t want to meet this guy or know who is intruding on this time of solitary work.  I don’t mind a guy being in next booth, I tell myself, just do your thing and forget he’s there.  I’m well on my way to completing my task when his cell phone rings.  OK, he will just ignore it like any sane person would do.  No, he answers the phone.  Give me a break, how am I to finish now?   Thankfully I can only hear one side of the conversation.  What would I do if there was a woman on the other side of the phone?  No, this is not his wife, girl friend or even his mother.  This is a person he does business with on a daily basis.  They are talking business; I need to get out of here.  Do I keep quiet, how do I do that?  Sometimes we are all noisy in the bathroom; I don’t mean talking either, bodies do noisy things during this time.  Do I flush?  The person on the other side of the phone line will know for sure he’s in the bathroom taking care of business?

A couple of rules for everyone to consider;

1.    No phones in the bathroom

2.    Talk only if you must

3.    Wash after the deed is done

4.    No greeting of others with a hand shake, this has a time frame associated with it as well.  Wait till your hands dry.

5.    Sing only if you must, you’re not in the shower

6.    Heavy breathing or straining is done only if you must

Being a guy I must ask the question?  Do women act this way in the bathroom, are they dainty and feminine like sugar and spice and all things nice?  I like to think they are.  They would never do the phone thing or talk with persons in the next stall.  Women are ladies.

I think that I’m scared from this incident; I will become one of those persons that does his business at home from now on. 

Hero's

I have heard this long enough! It is time to say my peace.  Every time the national media talks about a Firefighter or Police officer, they refer to them as a hero. 

I must say, I don’t believe I have ever met a hero.  I know several police officers, and firefighters, they are nice people.  They go to work just as they are supposed to, they, as far as I know don’t rob, steal or beat their kids.  I admit they have a job that is trying, that is at times dangerous or even is very stressful.  But hero, no! 

Give the hero’s their due honor.

I have a son that is a Navy Chief; he has been around the world serving our country and us for 19 years.  He, as far as I know goes to work each day as he is supposed to, he doesn’t rob, steal or beat his kids. I admit his job is trying, that it is at times dangerous or even very stressful.  But he’s no hero!

Recently Dakota Meyer was awarded the Medal of Honor during a ceremony in the White House on September 15, 2011.  This for repeatedly rushing into enemy fire to save his fellow soldiers, I do consider him a hero myself, he does not.  The men and women firefighters and police officers that gave their lives trying to save others during the terror attack of 9/11 they are hero’s.  Just because someone carries the name of something does not make them a hero.  For some odd reason we place actors, sports persons in the same light as heroes.  They are not.

There it is, please don’t cheapen this honor that we give to those that either gave their lives or did an extra feat of selflessness.

Charles